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PROLOGUE

Ayame's Dilemma

Ayame never believed in love at first sight, but that was before last week. That was when she saw Kakashi-sensei's face. She had seen him around before, but she always thought he was a bit strange, yet in a cool mysterious way. He had interesting hair and one nice dark gray eye, but as everything else was covered up, she thought no more about him. Once in a while he would come by and order ramen to take-out, but he never ate at the stand until that day. Since that day, she could not get him out of her mind. Even her father would comment every so often, "Naruto's sensei sure is something. He's the top Konoha jounin you know. Quite a catch for.anyone." Then his eyes would glaze over and a sigh would pass his lips.

Ayame found herself spacing out at work - over-cooking the ramen, over-seasoning the stock, and breaking the dishes. The only one who didn't notice the deterioration in the quality of their food was Naruto, who would eat anything no matter how hot or bland. As she served the steaming hot bowls, with white vapor obscuring the faces of the patrons, she imagined each customer to be Kakashi, and imagined he was the one thanking her for her fine service. She eavesdropped on conversations, hoping someone would mention his name, just so she could glean the smallest particle of information about this mysterious man. It was becoming an obsession. For the past week, she had been waiting and hoping Kakashi would come back to the stand, but she hadn't seen him since. How could she, a regular civilian girl, get his attention? She was nothing beautiful or classy or mysterious or exciting. Nothing like some of those kunoichi she saw around the village. Maybe she should wear more fishnet - that seemed to be quite popular. She was pretty enough under her plain yellow-stained white robe and kerchief, but no one ever noticed.

Ayame knew nothing about love strategy. She only had her father, whose advice on love was equating everything to ramen. "Love is like a bowl of ramen. Sometimes it's finished in seconds, sometimes it lasts much longer. Sometimes the noodles are short and sometimes they're nice and long. Some bowls of ramen have lots of variety, with roast pork, seaweed, egg, vegetables, tofu.but some are standard and boring with only one position.er, I mean top... er, I mean condiment."

If only her mother were still around, perhaps she could have given Ayame some real advice about men instead of some half-boiled philosophy based on egg noodles. Who could she get to be her ally, to help her gain his attention? Forget about Naruto - if he had any idea of her feelings, he would exclaim so loudly that everyone in the village would know in seconds. How could she find out whether Kakashi would be interested? Whether he had someone already? Maybe that girl Naruto liked, the pink haired girl on his team, the one with the funny forehead. What was her name? Something boringly common.Sakura, that was it. Maybe she could enlist her help.

-...-...-...-..-

DAY 1

Naruto's Ramen

Naruto noticed that his ramen had not been as good as usual. In fact, his cup ramen was better! What was going on with Ichiraku? For the past week, the ramen had been downright bad. And that's saying a lot coming from he who would eat mint bubblegum flavored ramen. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore so he loudly complained, "What's going on here? I pay good hard-earned money for this ramen! It sucks!" (His usual tactful self.)

But Ayame had her back to him. She was thinking about how luscious Kakashi's lips looked, so she didn't hear him at all. Her father looked up in surprise from cutting up some daikon. "What's wrong Naruto-kun?" he ventured to ask.

"What's wrong? What's wrong is your ramen! It's been terrible all week!"

"But you ate it all and didn't complain once. In fact, you had several bowls each time. Is this an attempt to get a refund or a free bowl?" He frowned at Naruto suspiciously.

"You try it! I'm not crazy!" Naruto insisted.

The old man tentatively took a pair of chopsticks and tried a few strands of noodles. His brow furrowed; his nose twitched; his mouth grimaced and then he spat out the noodles onto the countertop. He took a small sip of the soup and immediately coughed it out - all over Naruto. He then turned to address his daughter, "What the hell is wrong with you? These noodles are sweet! Ugh, you used sugar instead of salt!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry dad. I'll use more sugar next time." his daughter replied as if in a daze.

"Sigh, I'm sorry Naruto-kun. It seems that my daughter has fallen in love with your sensei. She's had her head in the clouds for days. I'll give her a thorough scolding later. Here's a couple of free coupons."

Naruto assumed he must have meant Iruka-sensei, since he was a regular customer. And he could see how a girl could fall for Iruka-sensei - he was such a great guy. It never occurred to Naruto that anyone could possibly mean Kakashi-sensei, who was incredibly weird, lazy, perverted - no girl would fall for that.

-...-...-...-

Life is Like a Bowl of Ramen

"Ayame, what the hell is wrong with you? Thanks to your incompetence, sales have been down 20 percent this week. Tips have been near nonexistent. Are you trying to ruin us?" her father reprimanded after all the customers had left.

"I'm sorry, Dad. It's just been hard to concentrate lately," Ayame replied apologetically, but appeared not to be sorry at all - she still seemed very distracted.

"I know how you feel about Kakashi-sensei. I mean, who can blame you. He's really.sigh.if I were.sigh.but if word gets out that our ramen's no good anymore, do you think he's going to come by here ever again?"

That shocked Ayame back to reality. If Kakashi were to think that she couldn't cook, she would have no advantage over any other girl. If he didn't come by the ramen stand anymore, what chance would she have at all? In fact, she must double her efforts to be the best ramen cook in all of Fire Country! "Dad, you're absolutely right. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right? I'm going to be the best ramen cook ever!"

"Well, maybe second next to me. Just remember that life is like a bowl of ramen - it's served steaming hot, but if it sits around too long, it gets cold."

"Umm, I think I missed the analogy there."

"Well, you know, it means.it means that you can't sit on the shelf too long or you'll be an old maid."

"Gee, thanks dad. I'm not that old yet." Ayame shook her head at the old man's strange sayings.

"Time goes by fast. If you find someone you like, go for it!"

"Dad, you're absolutely right. That's exactly what I'm going to do starting tomorrow!"

-...-...-...-

DAY 2

Naruto's Advice

"Hey, hey, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said with a sly look in his fox-like eyes. It was near the end of the day and Iruka was getting ready to leave the classroom.

"Hi there Naruto-kun. How's the training going?" Iruka replied.

"Oh, forget that!" Naruto was so excited, he wanted to burst out the information, but he also wanted to stretch it out, and make Iruka guess. "I know something you don't."

"Hmmf, I somehow doubt that," Iruka said with a laugh.

"Yes I do," Naruto insisted. "I know someone who likes you."

"I'm sure lots of people like me. I'm such a great guy."

"No, I mean, like you like you."

"What do you mean? You know I don't speak tween."

"Grrr, I mean I know someone who wants to date you."

"Oh," Iruka blushed, "umm, guy or girl?"

"A girl of course!"

Iruka sighed in relief, "Well, who is it?"

"Guess."

"Just tell me, I don't have time for guessing games."

"Ask me three questions and take a guess."

"Sigh, fine. Is she of legal age?"

"Huh?"

"At least eighteen."

"Hmm, I'm not sure. I think so."

"Okay, is she a kunoichi?"

"Nope."

`Good,' Iruka thought, `most of them are kind of bitchy. All right one last question.' "Hmm, is it someone I know?"

"Well.what do you mean by know?"

"Do I know her name?"

"I don't know if you know her name."

"Sigh, what's her name?"

"I don't know her name."

"Wait a minute. You're telling me you know a girl who likes me, but you don't know who she is?" Iruka was getting annoyed.

"I know who she is, but I just don't know her name."

"Grrr, just tell me!"

"It's the ramen girl at Ichiraku."

"The ramen girl?" Iruka's eyebrows rose up in surprise.

"Yeah, her dad told me."

"Hmm, well, she is pretty cute. And she's sure a good cook. Well, at least her ramen is good. But.I don't know."

"What's wrong? Don't you like girls?"

"Sure I do!" Iruka's face turned red. "It's just that.I'm pretty busy. I don't know if I have time right now for a girlfriend..."

"That sounds like a fishy excuse! You have time to spend with me, right? Just go for it!"

"Girls require a lot more time and effort. I'm not sure how to approach this."

"Just send her some flowers," Naruto suggested.

"Yeah, all girls like flowers, right?" said Iruka thoughtfully.

"Unless she's allergic."

"Allergic? Is she allergic?"

"How would I know? Why are you even taking advice from a twelve-year-old."

-...-...-...-...-

Ayame's Alliance

Sakura was not a frequent Ichiraku customer since she had a mom who cooked her dinner and packed her lunch. So on her day off, Ayame tried to bump into Sakura by loitering around her house. "Hello, Sakura-chan," she said pleasantly when she saw the pink haired genin returning home from training.

Sakura stared at her blankly and managed a weak, "Er, hello." (Inner Sakura: `Who the hell are you?! Some kind of stalker?!')

Ayame realized she was in her normal street clothes, not her ramen stand waitress uniform, so Sakura did not recognize her. "It's me Ayame." Sakura continued to stare at her quizzically. "From Ichiraku," Ayame said patiently.

"Oh! Hello, how are you? I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you," said Sakura in embarrassment.

"That's all right. I get quite a lot of that," Ayame said with a smile, while thinking , `What good is that big old forehead if you can't use it to recognize someone out of uniform?' "I was wondering if you could help me." Ayame said while blushing.

Sakura saw her face turn red and deduced it must be about a guy. She automatically became interested, then suspicious. ( Inner Sakura : `It better not involve Sasuke, or I'll help her with a kunai in her gut!') But she said sweetly, "Sure, if I can. What kind of help do you need?"

"I'm afraid that ever since last week.I've had a crush on." the ramen girl hesitated and blushed several shades darker.

`Last week? It better not be Sasuke! Would Sasuke go for an older woman? She does have a better figure than I do,' thought Sakura in a panic . (Inner Sakura: `I'll kill her first!') But Sakura smiled and said, "Yes? Go on."

"I'm in love with Kakashi-sensei!" Ayame blurted out.

`Hey that's right! She got to see Kakashi-sensei's face. Damn, and we didn't! ' thought the pink haired genin who then asked, "So what does Kakashi-sensei look like? We didn't get to see him without his mask."

Ayame gushed, "He has the most perfect nose. Not too long or short or narrow or broad. It gives him a perfect profile. The tip is slightly pointy, but not sharp. His mouth is perfectly shaped in a slight smile. His lips are sensuous but not too full. His teeth are white and perfectly aligned. His chin is not too strong or weak and gives him such a distinguished air. His whole face has such character. He's absolutely perfect! Sigh."

`Geez, she's got it bad. It's sickening the way she's gushing over him. Wait, I don't do that, do I? Of course not! ' thought Sakura, who then said, "All right, I'll help you on one condition."

"Anything!" replied the desperate young woman.

"You have to help me get a look at his face!"

-...-...-...-

DAY 3

Kakashi's Mistake

The next morning Sakura found the gray haired shinobi sitting by the riverbank reading a book with a banned symbol on the back. `Does that ramen girl know what kind of books he reads? Hey, whatever, to each her own.' "Good morning, Kakashi-sensei," she said in greeting.

The masked shinobi looked up from his little red book. "Oh, hello there Sakura-chan. Umm, we don't have training scheduled for today, do we?"

(Inner Sakura: `You should know, you lazy idiot!') Sakura replied, "No, I was just taking a walk. I saw you here, so I just wanted to say `Hi.'"

"Oh, okay." Kakashi went back to his book.

`So much for a meaningful conversation, let's try this again.' "Umm, Kakashi sensei, I was wondering."

"Hmm?"

"Well, when you were in the hospital.I'm sorry I didn't visit you as much as I should have. Was there someone who visited you regularly?"

"Yeah, the nurse and the doctor."

"No, I mean was there someone special who visited you?"

"No medical specialist until Tsunade-sama arrived."

"Grrr, no I mean, is there someone special in your life?" Sakura blushed.

"Oh." Kakashi noticed her blushing and thought, `Well, these things happen. If it weren't for her Sasuke obsession, it probably would have happened a long time ago. After all, I am really cool, though maybe not quite as cool as Sasuke, but I could have whooped his butt at the same age.' He hesitated before he answered. `I'll have to let her down delicately.' "Don't you think you're a bit young for me Sakura-chan? I mean, I know I read these books, but they only involve consenting adults."

"What! You think. I.! Ewwww!" ( Inner Saukra: `No way old man! This is sooo not worth the humiliation! I don't care if I never see his face! Forget it!') Sakura ran off in a huff.

Kakashi thought, `That was kind of strange. I wonder what's going on.'

-...-...-...-

Ayame's Plea

After escaping from such an embarrassing situation, Sakura found Ayame taking inventory at the ramen stand before the lunch hour rush. "I found out for you that Kakashi-sensei is unattached. The rest of it is up to you," Sakura said abruptly.

"What do you mean? That's it? You're not helping me anymore? Can't you find out if he likes me at all?" Ayame was near hysterical.

"Uh, things got a bit a complicated." (Inner Sakura: `No more humiliation! Go find out yourself you pathetic wimp!')

"Please Sakura-chan. Please just find out if he's the least bit interested in me. I promise I'll get you a look at his face.Plus a ramen coupon!"

(Inner Sakura: `Like hell! It's not worth it!') Sakura conceded, "Uh, oh, all right. I'll try again. But it better be a good look!" Sakura added to herself, `I'm such a sucker for romance. Sigh, if only I could get Sasuke to like me. Well, if I can get these two together.I'll just have to live vicariously.'

-...-...-...-...-

Sakura's Advice

Kakashi heard someone approaching again, someone disturbing his reading again. He looked up from his book in annoyance. His sole female genin was staring at him. "Sakura-chan, I'm sorry about earlier. Ha-ha, my mistake," he said in greeting.

Sakura thought, `He hasn't budged in like three hours. What the hell does he do all day when we're not training?' But then she said, "Uh, Kakashi-sensei, what I meant to say earlier is that I know someone who likes you." ` Why beat around the bush, mind as well just tell him. That way he won't make the same mistake again.'

"I'm sure lots of people like me. I'm such a cool guy."

"No, I mean, like you like you."

"Huh? You pre-adolescents sure have a peculiar way of speaking."

"Grrr, I mean I know someone who wants to date you."

"Oh really? Hmm, guy or girl?"

"A girl of course! "

Kakashi sighed in relief, "Well, who is it?"

Sakura realized she had forgotten the name. "Uh.her name is.you know her .she's the ramen girl at Ichiraku."

"Hmm, well she does make good ramen, and she is pretty cute...but."

"What's wrong? Don't you like girls?"

"Hmm? Of course, it's just that. women require a lot of time and effort. I don't know if I have time right now..."

"You've been sitting and reading here at the same spot for hours! You mean you're just too lazy to pursue her."

"Well." he shrugged.

"Why don't you send her some flowers to show you're interested. That takes minimal time and effort."

"I'll think about it."

-...-...-...-

Flowers

During his lunch hour, Iruka slipped away from the academy to pay a visit to the flower shop. He found a pretty blonde girl behind the counter. "Hello, Ino-chan, you're minding the shop today?" Iruka greeted.

"Good afternoon Iruka-sensei. I'm just here for a little while. My mom had to run some errands. If you need any help, please ask."

"I'd like to buy some flowers." Iruka blushed.

"Yeah, that's why you're in a flower shop, can you be more specific? Who's it for?"

"It's for this girl." Iruka turned redder.

"Well, I sure hope so. You wouldn't send flowers to a guy, would you?"

"No, well, maybe, but I want to send some flowers to the ramen girl at Ichiraku."

"Okay, what kind and how many?"

"I don't know, that's where I need help."

"You should have said that in the first place," Ino said impatiently. "All right, tell me about her. What's her favorite flower, favorite color, favorite scent."

"I really don't know anything about her."

"Just send her a dozen long stem red roses. A guy can never go wrong with that." `Plus it's the most expensive item here. Mom will be pleased!' "What about her name? How should I address the card?"

"The card?"

"Yeah, you know `To so and so, from so and so.'"

"Oh, that would be a problem. I don't know her name."

"Do you know if she likes you?"

"Yes, Naruto told me that her dad told him that she told him that she's in love with me."

"Perfect! Then you don't need a card. She'll naturally assume it's from you. Plus the added mystery of a possible secret admirer will make an even better impression! Sigh, how romantic."

"Are you sure?" Iruka asked with a note of doubt in his voice.

"Trust me, I'm a woman, I know these things," Ino replied confidently.

"But you're twelve years old. Should I be taking advice from a twelve-year-old?"

"Of course! By the way, we have a special package plan."

-...-...-...-

Meanwhile, after her second meeting with Kakashi, Sakura returned to the ramen stand to inform Ayame of the current status of the Kakashi-sensei mission. Ayame interrogated her immediately. "So? So? What did he say? What did you tell him? You didn't tell him I was in love with him did you? I'd die of embarrassment!"

"Of course not! I just told him that if he's unattached, and if he's looking for someone, that I happened to know that you were available. And if he's interested, I suggested he send you some flowers."

"Hmm," Ayame thought this over, "that's good, very good. It doesn't make me look desperate and the ball is in his court. You are indeed really clever, just like Naruto-kun says. Thanks so much Sakura-chan!"

"Hey, no problem, just remember your promise."

"Huh? Promise? Oh, here's the ramen coupon."

"Hey! I meant his face!" Sakura said angrily as she grabbed the coupon.

"Oh, yes, of course! I'll be in touch," Ayame said excitedly. Later that day Ayame received a dozen long stem roses with no note. She naturally assumed they were from Kakashi. `Wow, he sure went all out! These are expensive. What a great guy!' she erroneously thought.

-...-...-...-...-

DAY 4

Good Business

Ayame was on cloud nine! Maybe even cloud 9.5! Her ramen was surpassing all human effort! Service with an extra broad smile and a twinkle in her eyes - the customers now noticed that she was quite pretty. Each male customer thought she was flirting with him, that she was treating him special. She gave each customer extra noodles! Extra toppings! Extra condiments!

But her father was not pleased. "Ayame, what are you doing? You're cutting into the profits. Why are you giving everyone extra noodles, extra toppings and extra condiments? I'll have to raise the prices now."

"But we're getting more customers now, aren't we? They're also coming back for dinner. It's a better value for the price."

"Well, that's true. Hmm, I'll have to crunch some numbers to evaluate our profit margin. You know, running a business is like a bowl of ramen. If it's an extra big bowl, you'll have food left over."

"I don't get it."

"You know.it means.it means.it's like the law of diminishing returns, you know."

"No."

"Sigh, the food that is left over is wasted and it cuts into the profits."

Ayame looked at her father quizzically, then changed the subject. "Dad, I also bought a special heating apparatus with a thermal indicator."

"A what?"

"A new pot and a thermometer."

"What for?"

"I've been thinking, that in order to make the perfect bowl of noodles, I'll start with the serving temperature. If we keep the stock at slightly above body temperature, it should be not too hot, more than warm, the perfect temperature to drink. This pots heats more evenly and the thermometer will monitor the temperature."

"You've been really thinking about this haven't you?"

"I'm seriously serious. Now about the size of the vegetables."

-...-...-...-...-

Naruto's Observations

`Wow, ever since Iruka-sensei sent her those flowers, the ramen at Ichiraku has been amazing!' Naruto thought excitedly as he finished his ninth bowl. Iruka had been too embarrassed to join him at Ichiraku lately, but that should change soon. When the ramen girl found out that he, the great Naruto, was responsible for getting the two of them together, why it could mean free ramen for life! That thought excited him more than learning the rasengan! "Hey, hey, miss, how about another bowl?"

"Another, Naruto-kun? Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Maybe, but I'm not bursting yet. I have to say your ramen is better than ever!"

"Do you really think so, Naruto-kun?"

"Yes!"

"Well, I'm trying to be the best ramen chef in all of Fire Country. Say, why hasn't your sensei been around?" Ayame blushed.

"Oh, well, he's been busy, but I'm sure you'll be seeing him soon," Naruto said while in between gulping down huge chopsticksful of noodles.

-...-...-...-...-

Iruka's Dilemma

Iruka had been purposely avoiding the ramen stand and was having his self-packed lunch at his desk where Naruto tracked him down.

"Hey, hey, Iruka-sensei, how's it going with the ramen girl?"

"Well, I sent her flowers yesterday and I signed up for a package plan so she'll get more flowers today and tomorrow."

"That's it?"

"Well, yeah, what's wrong with that?"

"What about a date?"

"I'm working up to it. Don't worry, I have a plan."

"Tell me, tell me!"

"For the third bouquet I'll include a note asking her out for a movie and then a late dinner or drinks."

"How.boring."

"You think so?" asked Iruka, suddenly concerned.

-.-.-

Ino had advised,"Now after the third bouquet, you should include a note asking her out to a movie and then dinner."

"You mean dinner and a movie," corrected Iruka.

"No, no! Why go out for dinner and then a movie? It makes more sense to go to a movie and then dinner. That way you'll definitely have something to talk about during dinner or drinks..."

-.-.-

Naruto insisted, "You're a shinobi. Do something exciting with her. That's what she'll expect!"

"Something exciting? Hmm.like what?"

"Let's see.tree climbing? Mountain climbing? Bungee jumping? Take her on a mission to show off your skills! You can show her the sexy-no-jutsu guy style! Ha-ha-ha! Yeah, that's it!" Naruto started laughing hysterically at the thought of naked Iruka.

"Grrrr.I don't think that's a good idea! Besides, no civilians allowed on missions," Iruka said angrily.

At the tone of Iruka's voice, Naruto calmed down and asked, "Oh, well, what movie do you plan to see?"

"Sigh, good question." Iruka took out the newspaper, folded it back to the movie listings and looked at choices available. `Hmm, if I take her to see "Make-Out Violence" what would she think of me? No, not that one. No rated G stuff, she'd think I'm a wimp. Ok, then PG or PG-13. But PG-13 might have some bad language or sexual innuendo. Can't have that, it might make her uncomfortable. Okay, is there a PG family flick?' "I think I'll take her to this one."

-...-...-...-