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Shinobi Gossip

It had been a month since Iruka and Ayame got back together, after Ayame's fiasco of a relationship with Kakashi. The first week was awkward as the couple tried to find their footing. But after the second week they settled into a comfortable understanding that they were indeed now a couple. The third week confirmed that they were seeing each other exclusively. And Iruka finally stopped blushing everything he made a romantic gesture.

Ayame was proceeding slower this time, having learned her lesson through Kakashi. She had jumped into bed with him without knowing what kind of person he truly was. This time she would not make the same mistake. So it was with great deliberation that she took the next step.

"Mmm.that was nice, very nice," Ayame murmured as she nibbled at Iruka's ear. Her hands caressed his loose dark hair as he lay panting on top of her. 'So soft, longer than mine, with better shine, I wonder what conditioner he uses.'

"Mmm, yes, much better than Kakashi." That last part was not meant to be said out loud, but she was feeling sleepy and it slipped out unconsciously.

"What?! You slept with Kakashi?!" Iruka got off her, pulling the sheets with him.

"Huh? Well, only once, and it wasn't." Ayame sat up, surprised at his vehemence.

"You went out with him like twice!" ranted Iruka while thinking, 'It took me a month to get her into bed and he just went out with her twice. How much money did I spend wining and dining her? He probably made her pay! '

"I don't see why you're over reacting like this. We were having such a good time.[" Ayame smiled coyly and patted the mattress, hoping he'd return to bed. But Iruka was still ranting.

"You were thinking of him all the while weren't you? Comparing me to him."

"Well.umm." She couldn't lie to him could she? She was not the deceitful type. It was true that she was thinking of Kakashi and how disappointed she was. To her pleasant surprise, Iruka was much better, more passionate, taking longer, there was even foreplay, and he looked like the cuddling type.

"Don't deny it!"

She shrugged. "It's natural isn't it? To compare ex-lovers to the current one." Ayame then realized she said too much. That was not what Iruka wanted to hear, at all.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You never asked."

"That's not something a guy would ask about!"

"Why not? You apparently wanted to know."

"That's information a woman should volunteer!"

"You never told me about any other woman."

"But that's not important."

"Why not?"

"Because.because. it's Kakashi!"

"I chose you, so what else do you want?"

"You're only with me because you can't have him."

"But you're upset because I did have him. Isn't that the point?"

"I can't believe it... I just can't believe it." Iruka said over and over as he pulled on his shirt, pants and sandals.

"What are you doing? Are you leaving? It's the middle of the night!" Ayame pleaded with him, getting up out of the bed, disregarding her nakedness, with no sense of humility. "Please stay, we can work this out."

"I'm going for a walk. I would prefer that you not be here when I get back," Iruka responded coldly, without looking at her, shaking off her hand on his arm. He slammed the door behind him and walked quickly into the cool night air, hoping to calm himself.

'Damn you Kakashi! This is all your fault!' Ayame swore angrily, unreasonably, to herself.

-.-.-.-.-

'I'm not over reacting am I?' Iruka thought angrily as he walked around aimlessly. 'How could she just sleep with someone so quickly? Especially with a guy like that? And then dare to compare me to him!'

Iruka had thought he had gotten past Ayame's relationship with Kakashi, but now all his insecurities and thoughts of inadequacies came back. 'He's cooler than I am, taller, stronger, makes more money.'

'Well, I'm never going back to Ichiraku's again! Guess it's back to cooking and packing sandwiches. Can't afford to eat at most of the other places. Naruto's going to be disappointed, but a man has his pride to think about! Sigh, but I really liked her. She was so sweet. A bit of a ditz, but she was nice, unlike those bitchy kunoichi. I really thought maybe this time...'

He found himself by the Academy building and as class was going to start in a few hours, and as he had nowhere else to go, he entered and changed into his spare uniform in his locker. There was no point in trying to sleep, so Iruka spent the remaining hours just lying on top of the bench, thinking, and cursing Kakashi's name.

-.-.-.-.-

Ayame waited up all night for Iruka to return but he didn't. Finally when dawn was well past and he was probably teaching class already, she got out of his bed and collected her belongings. 'This so unfair! I didn't do anything to deserve this. Me and my big mouth. Stupid stupid!' she berated herself. 'I really liked him too. This past month has been great. Never knew a guy so attentive. Sure he's no smooth talker or cool or drop dead gorgeous, or rich or.but I'm not either.'

-...-...-

Like her father said, "Iruka sensei is like a bowl of plain ramen. No frills or fancy toppings but just your basic stock and noodles. Yet without them you wouldn't have ramen."

"I don't get it," Ayame said with her usual clueless expression.

"He has all the necessary essentials to be a good mate," her father explained patiently. 'Why doesn't she ever understand my ramen analogies? Her mother used to love them!'

"But I want to be in love."

"Being in love is like an super-size bowl of the House Special. You think you want it, and it seems great at first, but it's really too much, and you get sick of it."

"Huh?"

"Sigh, it's better to love someone than to be in love. After all, you can easily fall out of love while real love lasts a long time."

Ayame carefully thought over her father's words. 'Well, how would I know if I love Iruka? I'm pretty sure I'm not in love with him. But he's passed all the tests, (she had read articles on what makes a good boyfriend, how a guy should act on a date, significant other etiquette, etc.) but one. The final test, is he good in bed.'

-...-...-

Ayame had all night to mull over what happened and how she felt, and in her obsessive way, she decided that she definitely wanted Iruka, and she loved him to death.

-.-.-.-...-

"There you are! You! You! You ruined my life!" Ayame found Kakashi loitering by the shinobi memorial.

Kakashi looked up from his book with a confused look in his eye. It was not unusual for strange women (and men!) to come up to him making such allegations. He struggled to recall what he could have possibly done to this woman that could have ruined her life. 'Ayame, the ramen girl.Oh no, she's not pregnant is she? Damn, I was so careful, that technique is supposed to work 99.99% of the time!' Kakashi thought frantically. He felt himself sweating beneath his forehead protector. 'It's been a month.she must have just found out. Crap! Super crap! If she decides to end it, I'll accompany her. and even pay for it. If she decides to have it, I'll support her,' he added honorably.

"I'm sorry.I'll take care of it. I promise."

"Well you better! Find him and talk some sense into him immediately!"

"Huh?" 'Does she mean her father? Oh crap, he's going to want me to marry her.this is soooo not good!' "Right, okay, I'll talk to him right now." Kakashi stowed his book away and ran off to the ramen stand, leaving Ayame behind to contemplate her next step.

-.-.-.-.-

Her father had just started preparations to open the ramen stand when Kakashi approached. He cleared his throat to get the older man's attention.

"Ahem, excuse me, er, about your daughter."

The older man turned around and saw Kakashi nonchalantly leaning against the counter. He frowned suspiciously. 'I thought she dumped him. Good riddance.' "What do you want with my daughter?" he finally asked after giving him the twice over. 'Damn, he's really cool!'

"Well, I, er, I want you to know that whatever she decides, I'll support her decision. It is her decision after all. We men shouldn't interfere. It's a woman's choice."

"What the hell are you talking about?" His suspicions multiplied.

"You know, her, er, condition."

"What condition?" His suspicions now grew exponentially.

"The, er." Kakashi scratched his head nervously. 'How can I put this so that he can understand yet not flip out. I thought she told him already.' "The.er.uncooked ramen in the pot of stock."

The old man's eyes widened then narrowed. His face turned pale despite the heat from the pot of boiling water behind him. His lips started quivering with rage. "You! You! You bastard! You got my daughter pregnant!" All the passer-bys stopped and stared at the masked shinobi still coolly standing there while the old ramen guy ranted at him.

Among them was Naruto. And now that Naruto knew, soon the whole village would know too.

-.-.-.-.-

Part 2 - The Plan Goes Awry

Sasuke was leaning on the bridge railing, coldly ignoring Sakura's romantic overtures when Naruto came running up.

"Hey, hey! Guess what I just heard this morning!" Naruto said excitedly, nearing jumping out of his skin.

Sasuke just looked at him, then looked away, and did not deign to guess anything.

"Whatever, just tell us," said Sakura impatiently. 'I just needed another couple of minutes to wear down Sasuke-kun's defenses. He was definitely coming around. Damn Naruto and his bad timing! Kick his ass!'

"Guess! It's about Kakashi sensei and the ramen girl!"

"I thought they were over. Isn't she back with Iruka sensei?" asked Sakura whose curiosity was now piqued.

"Yes, but something's come up, or rather will come out, in like 8 months," Naruto fell to the ground laughing hysterically and clutching his stomach.

Sasuke now raised his head attentively.

Sakura's jaw dropped. "You mean she's pregnant with Kakashi sensei's baby?"

"Yes! I heard the old ramen guy yelling at Kakashi-sensei when I passed by this morning. I bet he's going to be super late today!"

"Kakashi.a father. doesn't seem. like a good idea," Sasuke finally voiced his thoughts.

Sakura agreed, "Iruka sensei would make a much better father. I wonder what she'll do, if she's really over Kakashi sensei. Poor Iruka sensei."

"Do you think Kakashi sensei would marry her?" asked Naruto, wondering if that would entitle his team to free ramen.

"I doubt it. Look at what kind of guy he is. Look at the way he treated her before. This is an unmitigated disaster! I wonder how Iruka sensei is taking this."

"There you guys are! You have to help me!" Ayame cried desperately while running up to the team.

Sakura quickly whispered to the boys, "Pretend like we don't know anything. We don't want to embarrass her any further. She's always been a little loopy. We don't want to send her over the edge."

"Kakashi sensei ruined my life!"

The team nodded in silence.

"You have to help me win back Iruka sensei. He found out about me and Kakashi sensei and.he.dumped me!" Ayame was now bawling her eyes out after holding it in for so long.

'Pathetic, falling apart like that over a guy,' thought Sakura. "Yes, we understand your.situation, but what can we do to help?" Sakura asked kindly.

Ayame stopped crying and tried hard to compose herself. "Naruto-kun, you have to talk to Iruka sensei. Make him understand. It was all a mistake. He'll listen to you rather than Kakashi sensei. You're like his." she stopped to blow her nose in her kerchief that she usually wore around her hair.

"Son? Best friend?" Naruto prompted.

"No.pet dog.I mean you're someone he trusts and can talk to. Please!"

Naruto did not liked to be compared to a pet animal but he placated himself by thinking she meant that he was loyal and trustworthy. "All right I'll do it in the name of true love! I'll convince him to forgive you and get him to take on all responsibilities!"

"Huh? Well, whatever. and you Sakura, you have to help me figure a way to win him back."

"Well, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but this is going to be tough.he's probably had enough of your ramen."

"You have to help me break into his apartment!" A sudden idea just struck Ayame.

"What?!" Sakura did not approve of illegal activities.

"I should've taken his spare keys, but stupid me. The door locks automatically. I have to get back into his apartment and wait for his return. He can't stay overnight at the Academy for much longer. You see."

Ayame took Sakura aside, away from the prying ears and eyes of the boys. "The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach but through.sex. You're still too young for that sort of stuff, but it's good advice for later. You shinobi have lock picking skills, right?"

'Does she mean I have to put out to get Sasuke-kun to like me? What kind of role model is she?' "Well, yeah, I can get you in. Just promise not to break or take anything and don't tell anyone," Sakura agreed reluctantly.

Sasuke, who was pretending not to listen, had concentrated his chakra to his ears and heard everything everyone said. He shook his head at their folly. 'People are so stupid, especially women. As if a man would fall for something as low as that. Sex, is that all women think about?'

-.-.-.-.-

Ayame left for her responsibilities at the ramen stand. After waiting for Kakashi for another hour, the team received a message by carrier pigeon that Kakashi was assigned another mission and would not be back until tomorrow. They had a nagging suspicion that Kakashi wanted to make himself scarce for a while. The team broke up to attend to various errands.

Naruto went to the Academy to find Iruka. He waited by the teacher's lounge, expecting him to return to his locker before lunchtime. His strategy worked as he soon saw Iruka looking downcast and walking slowly towards him. Naruto tried plan#1. He transformed himself to look like Ayame, but in a nice tight revealing outfit.

"Iruka-kun." he gave Iruka the saddest, sexiest look he could muster.

"Ayame-chan." Iruka said, surprised at her presence and at her dress. Then he recovered and firmly frowned and looked away. "I don't have anything to say to you right now," he said stubbornly.

"But Iruka-kun, you're the one I love. Please forgive me."

It was the first time either one of them had used the "L" word and it touched him greatly that she said it first. In his past relationships, he was always the first to say it, usually after just a few dates. The women would then turn cold and suddenly stop seeing him, thinking he was getting too serious too soon.

Ayame-Naruto sidled up close to Iruka and whispered seductively in his ear, "We can work this out. I'll do anything you say. Just meet me back at your place after classes are done." Naruto's act worked all too well as Iruka suddenly turned around and grabbed him by the waist, breaking Naruto's concentration and he transformed back to his regular self.

"What the hell! Naruto, what the hell are you doing, playing around like this!" Iruka turned a shade of reddish purple that Naruto had never seen before in all his years of pranks.

"Er, hi, Iruka-sensei. I heard you and the ramen girl were having problems so I thought I would help out."

"I don't need your help!" Iruka yelled angrily, causing some passer-bys to turn their heads and murmur. "And what's with everyone looking at me and whispering today?"

Naruto now tried plan#2, the sympathetic approach. "I know it must be very difficult for you, but even though you're not my real father, I think of you as one," he said honestly.

"Thanks, Naruto, but why are you saying this now?" asked Iruka suspiciously.

"It's just that.I know you'll be the real father to her child, not Kakashi-sensei."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" All the veins in Iruka's head and neck were now visibly bulging.

"I know you'll be a great father to the ramen girl's baby. She loves you, not."

"She's pregnant?"

"I thought you knew about her and Kakashi-sensei."

"I did, but I didn't realize." Iruka started to have other suspicions. 'Was that why she slept with me? Was she going to pass it off as my baby?'

Naruto now realized it was not going well. He tried plan#3, the direct approach. "What does it matter whose baby it is? She loves you and you love her and Kakashi-sensei doesn't want anything to do with it."

"That insensitive bastard! His own child and he bears no responsibility! He wants to pawn it off on me! I won't be his puppet."

"Forget about Kakashi-sensei, just think about the ramen girl and having a nice little family with her. She's waiting for you."

"Wait a second, is she still at my place?"

Naruto shrugged.

"Tell her to get out of there! I'm not going back until she's gone!"

"Iruka-sensei, I think you're making a big mistake."

"This is none of your business Naruto. This is between us adults. We'll resolve it ourselves without your interference. Now get out of her before I escort you out!"

"Fine! Just remember this!" Naruto's last words before he transformed into a beautifully naked Ayame with minimal cloud coverage.

Poor Iruka fell back and hit his head against the wall. Blood dripped profusely from his nose. By the time he came to his senses, Naruto was gone.

-.-.-.-.-

When Ayame arrived at the ramen stand, her father greeted her coldly. "Ayame-chan, is there something you want to tell me?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry I'm late. Had some stuff to take care of."

"I mean about Iruka sensei and Kakashi."

"It's under control and it's none of your business," she said defiantly while paring the vegetables.

"I'm your father, I'm here to help."

"I'll take care of it. Don't worry. Hey, how did you know?"

"Kakashi-sensei came by earlier."

"That stupid jerk! Why's he blabbing to you?" She started to cut the vegetables into more manageable pieces.

"He probably thought that since I am your father, I'd be in a position to advise you."

"Advise me with more ridiculous ramen analogies?!" She started to dice her vegetables.

"Ridiculous or not, life can always be explained using ramen as a microcosm," her father replied defensively. 'I think my ramen analogies are nicely philosophical.'

"Well, I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. Don't worry dad, I know you mean well, but this is my mess," Ayame said, a bit more kindly.

"Well, I'll support you in whatever decision you make. But you know I think Iruka sensei would make a great father."

"Huh? Yes, he would, but we're not ready for that yet."

"Well, of course, you two still have some time before you make any rash decision, but time passes much faster than you realize. It's like when you're making the soup stock and they say a watched pot never boils but then before you know it, it's boiled over and it's too late."

"I have it under control!" Ayame chopped her vegetables furiously, now they were minced rather than diced. But she didn't care and to her father's horror, she threw them all into the stock pot.

-.-.-.-.-

After the lunch rush was over, Ayame met Sakura at Iruka's apartment.

"I don't know about this," Sakura said hesitantly. "It's really an invasion of privacy."

"Oh, please, I've been in there plenty of times. Privacy's not an issue. And I promise I won't break or steal anything."

"All right, all in the name of love."

Inner Sakura: Break into Sasuke's place! Find out what he likes! Take some of his hair from his hairbrush and make a Sasuke doll for a love jutsu!

Sakura took out her lock pick set. "We're supposed to be able to do it with just chakra, but I'm not at that level yet, so I'll have to try these." She selected a couple of picks and carefully felt for the cylinders and tumblers until she heard a click. "There you go."

"Thanks so much Sakura-chan!" Ayame said as she brushed by the pink haired genin, entered the ground floor apartment, and quickly closed the door in Sakura's astonished face.

'After all,' Ayame thought, 'I've been here and she hasn't, so if she sees this place it really would be an invasion of privacy, and that wouldn't be fair to Iruka-kun.'

-.-.-.-.-

'Iruka-kun should be here soon,' Ayame thought as she made preparation. 'After a rough day at the Academy, a shower, together, followed by a sensual message, then a nice snack.'

Ramen was too messy to eat to be sensual so she bought some fruit instead. Ayame was wearing one of Iruka's robes, with nothing underneath, while trying to arrange the carefully cut fruit into something creatively interesting. But all she could come up with was a big smiley face composed of the strawberries, grapes, blueberries, apples, and bananas. She frowned as she noticed the apples and bananas were already turning brown.

Then she heard footsteps by the door. Ayame steadied her nerves, grabbed the doorknob and quickly opened the door expecting to surprise Iruka. The front of the robe was mostly open. Instead she found Naruto with bulging eyes and his tongue hanging out. She instinctively shot out her fist, which connected nicely with his jaw.

"What the hell are you doing here? Where's Iruka-sensei?" Ayame asked while closing the robe tightly and looking around.

Naruto got up slowly while rubbing his chin. 'Good thing she doesn't have the impact of Sakura's punch,' he thought ruefully. "He's not coming. He says he's not coming back until he's sure you're gone. I was going to tell you earlier but I ran into Kiba and he started showing me Akamaru's new tricks and by the time I got to the ramen stand your dad said you left. Then I stayed and had a few bowls of ramen before I came over here."

Ayame was not listening at all to Naruto's exuses. 'Iruka-kun does not want to have anything more to do with me,' she thought sadly. Tears started to fall from her eyes, but she didn't bother to wipe them. She was straining to think of another plan.

"Hey, now, miss, don't give up! Never give up! I'm sure it will work out. Iruka-sensei's a great guy. He won't stay mad at you. Look at all the trouble I've caused him, and he's still my friend."

"Sigh, it's different between men and women," Ayame sniffed. "I'll have to think of another way to apologize."

"Guess it's easier with girls. If Sakura were mad at me, I'd send her flowers.if I had enough money." Naruto thought regrettably that he had just spent his weekly allowance on ramen, and Sakura would just throw his flowers in the trash. She only wanted flowers from Sasuke.

"Hmm. well, who says flowers are just for women." Ayame's mind started spinning again.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Part 3 - Another Plan

The next morning, Ayame hurried over to the flower shop. The pretty blonde girl was behind the counter. Ayame rarely bought flowers. She only needed them on special occasions for her mother's grave. She knew little about flowers and nothing about what a man would like.

"Excuse me," Ayame said to the flower girl, "can you help me pick out an arrangement for a man?"

"For a man?" Ino repeated in surprise. 'How strange, but quite a novel idea, could open a whole new market if advertised properly.'

"Yes, I would like to send some flowers in apology. Do you think it's a good idea?"

"Of course it is! There's no rule that says a man can't receive flowers! I'm sure he'll greatly appreciate the gesture! Let's see.a manly arrangement.I can do it! This is a test of my superior flower arrangement skills. I was first in my class you know."

"Er, that's nice.now what do you think would be appropriate for a guy?"

"Hmm.wait, aren't you the waitress from Ichiraku? You're, I mean, you were going out with Iruka sensei weren't you?" 'Iruka's been one of my best customers! I have to get them back together!' "I'm terribly sorry about.your situation. I'll do my best to help. I'll even give you a discount!" 'Not really, I'll just round down the numbers but everyone likes to think they're getting a discount.'

"Oh, thank you very much," Ayame said appreciatively. 'How come everyone seems to know my business? At least they've all been sympathetic.'

"Okay, let's see.how about some forget-me-nots? They're a nice blue violet color. They're small flowers so we can add them to something larger and more impressive."

Ino proceeded to carefully arrange a number of different blue, violet, and yellow flowers. Ayame had to admit she was impressed.

"That's so beautiful, just send them over to."

"I'm sorry we have no delivery service today."

"What?!"

"There's only me today so I can't leave the store."

"What if I watch the store and you bring it over?"

"I can't do that! What would you do if customers came in? Do you know anything about flowers at all? I can't afford to lose any customers."

Ayame just then looked out the window to see Sasuke walking by. She ran out and called to him frantically. "Sasuke! Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke looked back, saw the ramen girl, and continued walking. But Ayame was not to be ignored. She ran up to him and grabbed the sole remaining Uchiha by the arm.

He glared at her dangerously. "You shouldn't do that. Not unless you want a fight."

"Fight? Me? A civilian?" She laughed, "You're very funny despite what everyone says. No, no, I need you to do me a favor."

"No." Sasuke pulled his arm away.

"Please, please, I just need you to deliver."

"No." He started to walk away.

"Please! I knew your parents!" 'Not really but something like that always works,' Ayame thought, a bit guiltily.

Sasuke stopped and just looked at her.

Ayame scrambled for something to say. "They used to come to the ramen stand all the time, before you were born." She added the last part in case he claimed he had no memories of them eating at Ichiraku.

"What would they order?" Sasuke asked as if testing the veracity of her statements.

"Uh." 'think, think,' ".uh, your dad liked the beef ramen and your mom the house special." It was a complete guess. Sasuke usually ordered beef ramen so she chose that for his dad. 'Like father like son,' she hoped. 'And everyone likes the house special ramen,' she hoped.

Sasuke said nothing but just nodded as if Ayame passed the test.

Ayame sighed in relief and continued with her request, "I need you to deliver these flowers and this note to Iruka sensei at the Academy."

"I hear he doesn't want anything to do with you. I doubt if he'll accept them," Sasuke said unsympathetically. 'Slut, whore,' he added to himself.

"Well.you can force Iruka sensei to read it! Can't you? I mean, you're an elite Uchiha and he's just a pathetic chuunin with no hopes of making jounin, right?" Ayame felt bad about insulting Iruka, but she needed Sasuke to help her.

Sasuke seemed to seriously contemplate beating up on his former sensei. Finally he nodded and accepted the flowers and note from Ayame.

"Make sure he reads that note! Drop by the ramen stand later! Let me know how it goes! Free bowl on the house today!" Ayame yelled at his retreating form.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Iruka was in the middle of class when Sasuke rudely interrupted. "These are for you," he stated bluntly.

"Flowers? For me?"

The kids in the class started giggling and Iruka's ears turned red.

"They're from the ramen girl."

"From Ayame? I want nothing more to do with her! Take them away!" He shoved the flowers back at Sasuke.

Sasuke removed the note from the basket and held it out for Iruka. "Just read the note then."

Iruka took the note and was about to rip it in half when he felt a cold hand clamping down on his arm. "I've been given instructions to make sure you read that note, no matter what." Sasuke then punctuated his threat by turning on his sharingan eyes. Poor Iruka started to sweat. He swallowed, hard, before carefully opening the note. 'This kid's as crazy as his brother!'

NOTE:

My dearest Iruka-kun,
Please forgive me, I swear there is nothing between me and Kakashi anymore! I made sure of it!

I love only you!
XOXOXOXOXOXO Ayame

'I made sure. I can't believe she made such a decision without consulting me! Kakashi must have pressured her into it!' Iruka mistakenly assumed that Ayame had terminated her pregnancy. "All right, I read it. Please leave my class now," he coldly said to Sasuke.

Sasuke shrugged, left the flowers on Iruka's desk and exited the classroom.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Part 4 - Cupid's Success

"Kakashi sensei is supposed to be back today. Maybe he can help," said Sakura, trying to be positive.

"I think he "helped" quite enough," said Naruto, trying hard not to laugh.

"Iruka sensei's not interested," said Sasuke bluntly when he arrived at Ichiraku.

Ayame looked close to tears. "What am I going to do?" she moaned.

"Try to be positive. Stress is not good for a woman in your condition." said Sakura. 'How pathetic, get yourself together!'

"Yeah, think of something positive. like names." Naruto suggested.

"Names?" asked Ayame confused.

"Yeah, like what you're gonna name it if it's a boy or girl."

"Boy or girl?"

"You know, maybe a neutral non-gender name."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Huh? Your baby of course! Now what would its family name be.Hatake, I guess."

"WHAT?! I'm NOT pregnant!" screamed Ayame as it dawned on her.

"You're not?" asked the three genin in unison.

"No! Where did you get that crazy idea?"

Sakura and Sasuke looked at Naruto.

"I, uh, overheard your dad and Kakashi sensei talking."

"DAD!" yelled Ayame to the back of the stand where her father was taking an afternoon nap. "Who told you I was pregnant?"

"Kakashi sensei came over yesterday and."

"That idiot! I'm NOT pregnant."

"You're not?"

"No!" screamed Ayame as passer-bys stopped and stared. Ayame glared at them and screamed, "Tell everyone you know that I am NOT pregnant!"

-.-.-.-.-.-

"You! You! You just live to ruin my life! I hate you! What the hell did I ever see in you?!"

Kakashi looked up from his book with a confused look in his eye. It was not unusual for strange women (and men!) to come up to him wondering the same thing. He struggled to recall what he could have possibly done this time to set her off. He had just returned from his mission, investigating a mysterious scroll, and saw Ayame waiting for him at the door to his apartment.

"Huh?" he finally said.

"How could you tell my dad that I'm pregnant? And that you're the father? What the hell were you thinking, making up a story like that?!

"You mean you're not pregnant?" Kakashi sighed in relief.

"No! I'm not! What made you think I was?"

"You said I ruined your life."

"I was talking about my relationship with Iruka-sensei. He dumped me because I told him I slept with you. Biggest mistake of my life."

"Going out with Iruka?" asked Kakashi, amused by the turn of events.

"No! Sleeping with you, idiot!"

He shrugged at her insult.

"You have to fix this. It's all your fault. Talk to Iruka sensei, convince him to take me back."

"I don't know if I can. It's really not my place to interfere."

"You owe me! Use your.sharingan thingy. Do whatever it takes!"

"Well, I could hypnotize him into thinking he's in love with you if that's what you really want..."

"No! Don't! Don't do that. I want him to really love me. Not some genjutsu thingy." She sighed sadly, sniffed and started to cry.

'Oh no! I hate to see a woman cry.'

"All right I'll speak to him immediately," Kakashi said sympathetically patting her on the shoulder.

"You will? I think he's been staying overnight at the Academy," she smiled.'Tears always work.'

-.-.-.-.-

'I'm not being stubborn I'm not! I'm not!'

'Then why are you spending another night in the teacher's lounge? Are you that afraid to face her?'

'If I face her I might lose my resolve.'

'What resolve? To spend the rest of your life alone?'

'There are other fish in the sea.'

'How many that don't want Kakashi? Do you know of any at all? Just make up with with her. She said she loves you in that note. And you know, they say make-up sex is the best.'

Iruka's thoughts were then rudely interrupted.

"Hi there, Iruka sensei, I thought it's about time for us to have a friendly chat," said Kakashi, suddenly appearing before Iruka who was packing his lecture material.

"Kakashi sensei, I'm sorry, but I'm busy. Please excuse me," responded Iruka coldly, without looking at him.

"This will only take a minute." Kakashi blocked the exit.

"You don't have anything to say that I would care to hear." Iruka looked him in the eye.

Kakashi sighed and in a blink of an eye he had expertly tied Iruka to a chair. "Sorry, I didn't want to resort to this, but you're as stubborn as my genin."

"Let me go Kakashi or." Iruka flushed angrily.

"Or what? You're a chuunin, I'm a jounin. Should I be scared of you?" Kakashi almost chuckled at the sight of poor Iruka struggling futilely. He didn't want to sound condescending, but Iruka had been acting like a child. "I'll let you go but you have to promise to sit there and listen until I'm done."

Iruka finally nodded. 'It'll be a bit less humiliating that way,' he thought.

Kakashi easily released the rope. "All right. Look, it's about the ramen girl."

"Ayame."

"Huh?"

"Her name is Ayame. You should address her appropriately considering the circumstances."

"That's what I'm here to discuss."

"I can't believe you made her abort!" Iruka interjected angrily.

"Sigh, she was never pregnant! I can't believe how gossip gets around in this village. It's all a great big misunderstanding. She's not pregnant and she wants you, not me."

"She only wants me because she can't have you."

"Is that so bad?" asked Kakashi with a slight smile from under his mask.

"I won't play second fiddle to anyone!"

"Anyone? Or just me?"

"What's that supposed to mean? You think you're so special."

"Apparently you think I am."

"Huh?"

"It seems that you think about me a lot, don't you?"

"What? No, no I don't!"

"I think you're protesting a bit too much. Hmm, you are a great guy. I don't usually swing that way, but I might make an exception if you're interested."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Iruka stood up.

"Maybe you were only interested in the ramen girl because she was interested in me and she was just a proxy for me since you were unable to express your." Kakashi continued coolly.

"What the hell are you saying?" Iruka was now shaking with fury. He clenched his fists and his teeth.

"You want me don't you?"

"What?! No! Not at all! I love Ayame!"

"I see, so you do love her. Why didn't you just say that in the first place," Kakashi smiled at the chuunin and patted him on the shoulder. 'I just love playing cupid.'

Iruka started to calm down. "I guess I have been acting like an idiot." Iruka was very relieved that Kakashi was just joking around. Wasn't he?

Kakashi nodded in agreement. "It's not a competition. I don't have problems with your relationship with Naruto."

'That's right, Naruto likes me a lot more than he does Kakashi. He thinks Kakashi's lazy and weird. Maybe Ayame really does like me more.' Iruka started to feel better and was back to his usual self. "Thank you Kakashi sensei. I'll go make up with her immediately."

"That's good. Of course, if things don't work out, I'm still available." He gave Iruka a wink, then chuckled madly to himself as he disappeared in a blink of an eye.

-.-.-.-.-

Ino was still behind the counter in the flower shop, lazily doing calculations with a pencil and notepad. 'How much did we rake in today.'

'When does she ever train?' Iruka asked himself as he entered the store.

"Iruka sensei, long time no see. Have you found yourself another girl?"

"Huh? No, I.uh."

"Too bad about that ramen girl getting knocked up by Kakashi sensei. I was really rooting for you, you know." 'Kakashi sensei's too cheap to buy flowers.'

"She's not knocked up! I mean she's not pregnant. It was all a misunderstanding," Iruka responded heatedly.

"Oh. I see... Well, that's good, very good," smiled Ino. 'That means they must be back together!'

"I need something to express my apologies."

Ino smiled even more as her eyes turned into ryou signs.

-.-.-.-.-

It was already late and the ramen stand was about to close for the day. Iruka had returned home for a complete shower and shave. After having slept at the Academy for two nights, the usually meticulous chuunin really needed to make himself more presentable.

Iruka nervously walked up to the ramen stand mentally rehearsing his apology. Ayame was busy wiping down the counter in preparation for the next day when she heard him approach. "I'm sorry we're closed for the day." she started to say before she looked up and saw Iruka holding two dozen long stemmed roses in an assortment of colors.

"I'm sorry Ayame-chan. I'm such an idiot. I don't care about your past with Kakashi sensei or any other man," Iruka said sheepishly while holding out the flowers.

"Do you mean that? Really? Not any of them?" Ayame asked as she came around the counter.

"Huh? How many.no forget it. Nothing matters except the two of us," Iruka insisted as she came closer. 'She's so cute in her uniform.and out of it.'

"We'll never mention Kakashi ever again!" Ayame said happily as she threw her arms around Iruka's neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

But when she released Iruka, all he could say was "Well.did you really mean it when you said I was better than Kakashi? I mean.how was I better.exactly."

Ayame's brow furrowed as she grabbed the flowers from Iruka and hit him over the head. The thorns scratched his face. "Take these flowers and give them to Kakashi! Apparently you think a lot more about him than you do about me!" Ayame yelled. More passer-bys paused to watch the scene.

The crowd that had gradually accumulated started to clap and by the next day, it was known throughout Konoha that Iruka sensei and Ayame the ramen girl were back together and it was taboo to mention Kakashi's name in front of them.

Thus ends the second episode in the life of the ramen girl.

-.-.-END-.-.-